Why Your Nervous System Is Keeping You Stuck (And How to Change It) Part 1

Summary: In Part 1, Katie sits down with Hailey Coleman, also known as the Psychic Nervous System Coach, to explore how our environment, relationships and unprocessed trauma silently drive our stress responses.
Hailey opens up about her own experience leaving an emotionally abusive relationship and how full body panic attacks became the wake-up call that sent her on a path to healing. Together, Katie and Hailey unpack why the nervous system screams when we stop listening to ourselves, how chronic stress shows up differently in every body, and what it really means to check in before things spiral.
They also dig into what to look for in the people around you when you start doing the work, and why healing can feel lonely at first.

Key Takeaways
→ Panic attacks and anxiety are often the body's last resort after ignoring subtler signals for too long. The nervous system will eventually scream if we don't listen.
→ Environment is everything. This includes the people around you, not just your physical surroundings. Toxic relationships keep the nervous system in survival mode.
→ Do a body check. Sweaty palms, a racing heart, a turning stomach - these are data points. Notice them before they escalate.
→ 70% of Americans are currently in a chronic state of fight or flight. Stress is not a personal failing - it is a systemic pattern.
→ Your gut speaks first. Gut health issues, acid reflux and digestive disruptions are often early signs of nervous system dysregulation before anxiety even reaches the brain.
→ The go-to reset: find a bathroom, close your eyes, one hand on your heart, one on your belly, and breathe deeply for two to three minutes. Simple and powerful.
→ If closing your eyes increases anxiety, hyper-focus on one object instead. This achieves the same grounding effect without triggering the stress response.
→ Learn the tools when you are calm. When you are heightened, your brain cannot absorb new information. Practice regulation before you need it.

Where to Find Hailey:
Website
Instagram

Resources

• Website
• Free Mini Cogno Mondays
• Learn more about Cognomovement
• Try Cognomovement for yourself!
• Book a call with Katie

Credit: Tom Giovingo, Intro & Outro, Random Voice Guy, Professional ‘Cat‘ Herder

Mixed & Managed: JohnRavenscraft.com

Disclaimer: Katie is not a medical professional and she is not qualified to diagnose any conditions. The advice and information she gives is based on her own experience and research. It does not take the place of medical advice. Always consult a medical professional first before you try anything new.

Transcript

Katie Wrigley (00:00)
Welcome back to the Catapult Effect podcast. I am your host, Katie Wrigley, and I am so excited to bring today's guest to you because she does very similar work to what I do, but she also adds in an intuitive approach that I cannot wait to dig into. So her name is Hailey Coleman, and she's also known as the Psychic Nervous System Coach. She helps overwhelmed, high achieving women and adults move from stress, anxiety, and emotional chaos into clarity, calm, and self-trust.

by blending nervous system regulation with intuitive psychic insight.

Welcome to the Catapult Effect podcast, Hailey. I'm so happy to have you here.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (01:05)
Thank you, I'm excited to dive into this today.

Katie Wrigley (01:08)
Me too. So I actually want to start with how did your own experience with trauma start to shape your understanding of the nervous system, stress recovery, intuitive clarity, and how did that really start to help formulate the work you're doing now?

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (01:23)
So about years ago, my kids were little and I was in a emotionally abusive relationship. My partner at the time was a narcissist and pathological liar and chronically cheated. And it threw my nervous system into like I was just done.

I had three little kids and being a busy mom and working and stuff and then having all the extra stuff coming at me emotionally and it just threw my nervous system off to the point where I've never had anxiety. I was blessed to like never have that growing up. But all of a sudden I started having panic attacks, like everyday full body panic attacks. And I wanted to like

Katie Wrigley (02:10)
Mm.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (02:16)
figure that out, like why didn't I notice the signs and symptoms before that happened? Why wasn't I in tune enough with my body to listen to my body and my mind before the panic attacks started, right? Like why, so all of sudden my body was just like, nope, like alarm system, everything. And it took me, I think I was breastfeeding my youngest and

My other two were like near me and I like super calm. All of sudden full body panic attack. And my girls started singing me the lullaby that I sing them at bedtime to calm them down. And that was the moment I was like, I need to figure this out. I need to figure out my body, my mind, my soul and understand.

Katie Wrigley (03:00)
No.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (03:11)
Why did I not recognize the signs and symptoms before I got to this point? And so yeah, I started diving into holistic stuff. I got my nationally certified breathwork coach. I got certified in cognitive behavioral therapy, addictions and like learning the science as well as the intuitive piece and paired that together and healed myself and then

turned it into a business.

Katie Wrigley (03:39)
Amazing, amazing. I want to dive more into that and I'm curious. And if you don't want to answer, you can totally be like, too personal. But what did you find? What was the why behind how your body had gotten to that point where you started to have the panic attacks?

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (03:55)
I just wasn't listening to myself. I wasn't setting boundaries. wasn't Taking care of my mind and my body at the time and I was almost just like allowing my partner to For me to be their punching bag emotionally. So looking back I never I never allowed myself to just

set boundaries and say it's not okay and switch up the environment. And that was the biggest thing for me because the environment was what was causing my nervous system to scream.

Katie Wrigley (04:40)
Yeah. Yeah. And you actually, you have a really fantastic post on Instagram about the importance of changing environment and how impactful that is to healing. But I just want to commend you on what you took from that moment, Hailey, because not everybody has that awareness. But what you're talking about can be so common where suddenly the relationship we're in, we notice a level of toxicity. And it's almost like the boiling frog analogy, right? Like

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (05:06)
Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (05:06)
People don't start out emotionally abusing us. If they did, probably, most of us would not be that open to it out of the gate. It happens really slowly over time. And so we don't tend to notice it until we get to a point where it's uncomfortable in the body, like what you mentioned with panic attacks or maybe something that's coming out in physical pain. That was how it manifest with me and no boundaries was a big part of it. But I just wanna bring to light.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (05:16)
Okay.

Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (05:33)
you know, even though you went through a horrific experience, it is sadly really common, but not everybody has that awareness or that ability to pull it back in. So if you are the person listening right now that you're starting to have anxiety for the first time, keep listening because we're going to continue to dive into this and the importance of that mind body connection as well.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (05:37)
Yes.

it was just, it came to a point where my body was screaming. And when I help my clients from around the world, the biggest thing is like, well, are you willing to change your environment?

Katie Wrigley (06:07)
Hmm.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (06:07)
Are you willing to change the people in your environment? The physical environment itself. Like, what are you willing to do to start healing? And that's a huge question and not a lot of people are able to take the risk. So then we take it a step back. Well, what can we do right now to try to get you grounded enough, energetically, emotionally, so that you can make those decisions when you're feeling a bit more.

empowered or confident or courageous, whatever it may be, right?

Katie Wrigley (06:40)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. the environment, there was a guest that I had interviewed really early on, and she's literally the only person that I'd heard of that said, you don't have to change your environment to heal. But she changed everything inside of her. part of what she wasn't including in the environment, and I remember this from our conversation, was she wasn't including the people. So that is a big component. And I know a little

a lot of people who've been on a healing journey that sometimes it feels really lonely because as we're healing the people that we are with before we were healed may or may not be on their own journeys and there's a chance that they may drift further apart from us as we continue to heal more because it gets to a point where energetically you just aren't in alignment if you made this massive transformation like what you're talking about.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (07:30)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you know, that's a really good point because when I say environment, I don't mean the home you're in. Like maybe, maybe there's a lot of trauma and triggers in the home you're in. It could be a work environment. could, it 100 % is a people environment, whether it's friends, family, whatever, partners. You know, having certain energies around us really can trigger us. And once we start,

working internally, healing ourselves, it's almost like, I don't know if you've noticed this, but my clients and I kind of joke about it all the time because it's like once we start healing, the people who are not working on themselves stand out in the crowd so much that even when they like open their mouth and just start talking, it's like, okay, I know who I'm talking to.

Katie Wrigley (08:31)
Yeah.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (08:32)
And I don't mean

that in a rude way, it's just like so obvious when someone's not started working on themselves.

Katie Wrigley (08:41)
Right.

it's awareness. And so what you're talking about is increasing that capacity for awareness, for space, for margin, which is part of what happens as you're regulating the nervous system. You get more space and you don't even realize that you are out of space until you get more. And you're like, wow, I have so much more to handle this. you do see like, and it's at a point now where I'm like, nope, that person's not ready.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (08:55)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (09:07)
I'm going

to send them lots of love and light. They are not ready. And that's OK. You need to be ready to do this work. As you know, it's not for the faint of heart. It may be a simple process, but it's not easy to face the things that are disruptive. It's really not.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (09:11)
Yeah.

It's not easy. When you

start like even just like focusing on one trigger that bothers you, like you're gonna dig up some big shadow work and that's where it comes in where it's like, do you have the support, whether it be a coach, a therapist or whoever to help you guide you through those shadows because once you open it up, like absolutely it's scary and you're gonna feel a lot of things and

Katie Wrigley (09:32)
⁓ yeah.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (09:50)
And you're going to notice right away the people in your life if you're even able to bring up that topic of healing with them because their response will immediately show you if they are capable to have the capacity to support you.

Katie Wrigley (09:58)
Mm-hmm.

Yes, I want to have you dive deeper into that. Like what are some of the indicators someone can look for to say, is this person at a place where they have the skills to have this conversation with me? Because that's really important. When we can get to that place where we can have those really vulnerable conversations, when you are talking to someone who also has that capacity, it can be a really positive

amazing, powerful experience, but when you're talking to someone who doesn't have that skill set yet, it can be really negative and further disrupting to the system. So what are the things people can kind of listen for there if you can think of any examples, Hailey?

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (10:48)
I'm going to give an

example of my current partner. So my current partner, at first, if I brought up stuff, they would project or disengage. ⁓ Sometimes they would kind of give a bit back, like kind of challenge.

challenge it or deflect or avoid. You all those things are like, well, you caused me to have this reaction and so I'm trying to talk to you about it because you might not be aware that you caused me and that's cool, it's okay, but I'm feeling a certain way and you caused that so let's chat about it. Yeah, and at first it was deflection and projection and gaslighting and all these things.

Fast forward a month later when I'm like, okay, these things are happening, but you're saying you're trying. So now they're taking notes. Now they're like, using the words that I use and I use words like I hear you, I see you, I feel you, like validation words. And it was kind of cute because now they were like, I hear you, Hailey. And I was like, ⁓ okay, okay.

And they're like, I took notes. And I was like, okay. But it's just a matter of the difference where it's like the frustrated deflection, avoidance versus, okay, I can take it in now. I can take in the words that you're saying to me for what I caused you to feel. And I'm taking notes now and I hear you, Hailey. And I was like, it's like night and day.

Right? you'll have someone, whoever you're sharing it with, if they are validating or trying to understand and actively listening and not getting mad that you're calling them out, that's one of your people. Stick with those people. Right?

Katie Wrigley (12:50)
Yes. Yes.

Yes. Thank you for that. And even if the person can't respond in that moment, just to add on to what you're saying and let me know if you disagree, because I'm one of those that needs a moment to process sometimes with things. It's like, I hear you and I need a moment to process this. Can I get back to you later?

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (13:04)
Yes.

Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (13:12)
And I'm still even saying like, hear you and I make sure that I say that because if you're like, I can't deal with this right now, I need space like the person you're going to wind up re triggering them again, but just that I hear you. And if you can just give me space to process this, that would be awesome. I'm going to circle back later when I've had a chance to. And yeah.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (13:22)
I'm really.

Validating, right? Like you're

not saying, no, this is bullshit. Like I didn't do that. You're saying, okay, thank you for bringing that to my attention. Can we talk about this in a day or two? That's still validating because we might not be ready in the moment, but that's still validating that person when they're coming to us, right? Or vice versa. So yeah, absolutely.

Katie Wrigley (13:58)
Yeah, awesome. And so I want to actually talk about like, what is happening when going back to the whole awareness thing, like what's happening in the nervous system when someone's living with chronic stress or they're in constant survival mode. Because if we look at the stats out there right now, and I keep blanking on the name of this doctor, which she was on the Mel Rallman's podcast, and I even talk about her in my upcoming book and I got her name, I just can't remember.

But she was stating that 70 % of Americans are in a state of fight or flight right now, which says 70 % of us are in chronic stress. So what's happening to the nervous system when people are running that chronic stress pattern, Hailey?

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (14:39)
There's

so many things that could happen. And I talk about this with my clients, like every body and mind are unique. ⁓ for you, you said it was physical symptoms. For me, it was panic attacks. Some of my clients ⁓ are sleepless nights or I'm constantly having heart palpitations or...

my stomach's been off for months. That's a huge indicator. Gut health, like if you're not aware ⁓ that all of our emotions are built in our gut. if you're having gut health issues, like that's a first sign of anything. Before you even get the anxiety up in your brain, you're gonna feel it in your gut if you're aware and in tune with your body. So I feel like that's kind of like,

Loaded question because everyone's so different, but you need to really like Take a step back and think Have I felt different being around this person? Have I felt different being in this job or have I did I feel different like being put in that situation? You know and like just reflecting and be like, you know what? Like I like to do the body check. So, know what? Yeah my I was a bit sweaty or my hands were

a bit clammy or yeah my stomach kind of started to turn a bit or my heart did race a bit or I felt kind of off like disassociated like do a body check if if you felt any of those teeny little symptoms like something's trying to tell you something and maybe it was whatever that person said or the topic or the situation that you were involved in like it could be anything right so it's like

Katie Wrigley (16:14)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (16:31)
finding out what your norm is and then being like, wait a sec, actually I'm gonna pause that. Some people's norm is fight or flight.

Katie Wrigley (16:41)
Yes.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (16:44)
So even like reflecting back, when was I my happiest self? Was it 10 years ago? Cool. How did you feel 10 years ago? Do you like compared to now you have that heavy chest lump in your throat. You're constantly on edge. You're yelling at your kids all the time. You're you know, like you're just like like rage. Maybe you have rage now. Who knows? But what what was your best self and then compare it to now?

Katie Wrigley (16:53)
Yeah.

I love that. That's a great way to help people start to tune in and pay attention to that, you know, and that's the more you start to learn the process that that Hailey's talking about here, the easier it's going to be because as you know, Hailey life continues to happen. And like I'm going through another layer right now where whole other layer of deeper healing like this is the deepest healing I've done to date and was not ready to do this level of healing until it came up.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (17:40)
Yeah, sometimes

it's just like, here you go.

Katie Wrigley (17:43)
Yeah, yeah, it's like,

all right. Well, this is the thing now, but I'm very willing to heal it. And like it's something I tell my clients a lot is and remind myself too, is the brain isn't going to give you more than you can handle. You may not like it. It may not be enjoyable to face it, but your brain is not going to bring in information that you aren't ready to process yet. And I noticed like, and I know that I'm in it and I'm

doing extra self care, like, you know, I immediately start going to my toolbox and I up the amount that I'm using those tools to get myself back regulated again. And so even as I'm processing this, and this is really the first time that I've been able to get my nervous system back into a regulated state while I'm still processing, usually like if it's another layer like that, I'll get dysregulated for like a couple of weeks. But this time I had like,

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (18:16)
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Katie Wrigley (18:38)
a little bit more of a struggle of sleeping for like two or three nights and then back to normal again. And I'm still got a lot to process, but I'm like, wow, this stuff really works some more. You keep layering it on. Like I know it works because I've been doing this for years, but yeah.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (18:55)
Well, it's like muscle memory. The more

you practice the tools and tricks and strategies, like when you're forced to be like heavy into it, it's like, okay, I'm gonna go back to like day one of like when I wanted to learn my breath work, but like your body knows it. So now it's gonna be 10 times better for you. And it's, I always tell my clients, learn the tools when you're calm so that when you're heightened, you can imply them.

Katie Wrigley (19:05)
Yes.

Yep.

Hmm.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (19:24)
Cause you can't learn stuff when you're heightened. Your brain just doesn't allow it, so.

Katie Wrigley (19:24)
Yep.

100%. Yes, I love that advice. Thank you for adding that. That's a million percent. the other thing like when someone's in chronic stress and they're learning this awareness and they're learning how to check in with the body, when was I the happiest? When did that start to get derailed? How did it feel and bringing those memories back in? When these things are going on like it...

It blocks intuition. It blocks clarity. It makes us indecisive. It hits memory a lot of times too. Like we can't even keep track. Like, what was I just saying? What was I just thinking? All of that gets trapped and we lose our ability to do that really executive reasoning. So how do we start to open those channels back up again, Hailey, when we're having a hard time with focus, with clarity, with intuition?

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (19:59)
Yes, yes.

The biggest thing that I tell myself as well as my clients is every single day when you feel like maybe your kids are just driving you nuts or work your boss just gave you another thing to do and you're like, like one more thing, right? You're just like feeling overwhelmed. The easiest thing I tell my clients to do is like go to the bathroom.

And the reason I say the bathroom, I know it sounds weird, but because you can't, you're not gonna think about anything else. You're not gonna look at the dishes. You're not gonna look at your pile of work at your desk. You're gonna go to the bathroom and you're gonna close your eyes. And I always say put one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. And I want you to do deep breaths and feel your heart rate and feel your breath and do that for two to three minutes with your eyes closed. And it is so simple.

and so powerful that you will resent yourself. And if you have to do that 20 times that day, awesome. Maybe tomorrow you do it twice or none. But like having that one thing that you can be like, I feel like shit, I'm not myself, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, even turn the lights off in the bathroom, I don't care. Just close your eyes, hand on your heart, hand on your belly, and just do your deep breathing.

It naturally re-centers you and I say eyes closed because then your brain can't register anything else. don't, you can't, do not look around the room. Close your eyes and focus. And being able to do that will allow you to at least give you that hour afterwards or even half hour, 45 minutes after that where you can like resettle, rethink, regroup and that gets you through that chronic stress.

that day and it's just so simple and obviously you and I teach our clients deeper tools and regulation techniques but that's something that like anyone can do in the moment. Just go to the washroom and close your eyes. ⁓

Katie Wrigley (22:26)
I love that. I

love that. you know, I'm curious because I'm thinking of a part of the population that I've worked with, namely first responders. And I've heard a doctor refer to this as like special forces syndrome, where they actually feel less safe, less relaxed as they close their eyes. So, yeah. So what and I'm kind of thinking, you know, how you could help someone along that line. But what would you suggest to that person that like

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (22:36)
⁓

Okay.

Katie Wrigley (22:56)
may feel so anxious or so wound up in that moment that closing their eyes feels even scarier.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (23:03)
Yeah, the other technique you can use is having a hyper focus on an object. One object. So yeah, if you're one of those where like you just it sets off your system to close your eyes, pick something like literally anything that bar soap in the bathroom or that light switch, wherever like literally anything hyper focus on that so that your brain can't scan the room or wherever you are, right?

Katie Wrigley (23:09)
beautiful.

Yep.

Yep, yes, I love that. Thank you. I just wanted to give an alternative because I've actually seen that. And even not necessarily just in first responders, but if someone has had a lot of abuse in the past where nighttime wasn't safe or sleep wasn't a safe state for them, closing the eyes can increase panic. And we actually, did some brain scans. I don't remember what type they were. They weren't like the spec scans, but we actually did.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (23:36)
Yeah.

Yep.

Yes.

Katie Wrigley (23:57)
some brain scans with some first responders and we noticed like both of the people we worked with when they closed their eyes, stress shot up.

Hailey - The psychic nervous system coach (24:03)
That's fascinating.