Repairing Relationships: The Power of Cognomovement with Coral Buchanan

In this episode, host Katie Wrigley interviews Coral Buchanan, an advanced Cognomovement practitioner and former first responder wife. They discuss the challenges and unique dynamics of being married to a first responder, as well as Coral's personal journey and how Cognomovement helped her navigate through stress and difficult times. 

Coral specializes in working with relationships, including couples and families, and has helped clients with issues such as infidelity, custody battles, and repairing family relationships. The key takeaway is to ask for help and communicate openly in order to find support and create positive change.

Takeaways

• Ask for help and communicate openly in order to find support and create positive change.
• Cognitive Movement can help navigate through stress and difficult times.
• Coral specializes in working with relationships, including couples and families.
• Celebrate progress rather than striving for perfection.

Where to find Coral:
Website
Instagram
YouTube
Conscious Creation Community

Resources

• Website
• Free Mini Cogno Mondays
• Learn more about Cognomovement
• Try Cognomovement for yourself!
• Book a call with Katie

Credit: Tom Giovingo, Intro & Outro, Random Voice Guy, Professional ‘Cat‘ Herder

Mixed & Managed: JohnRavenscraft.com

Disclaimer: Katie is not a medical professional and she is not qualified to diagnose any conditions. The advice and information she gives is based on her own experience and research. It does not take the place of medical advice. Always consult a medical professional first before you try anything new.

Transcript

Katie Wrigley (00:00.642)
Welcome back to the Catapult Effect podcast. I am your host, Katie Wrigley. And I have a guest with me today who is very near and dear to my hearts. She has become a very good friend of mine over the past few years as we've embarked on a Cognomovement journey as practitioners. So with me today is Coral Buchanan. Coral is an advanced Cognomovement practitioner. She also has a background in holistic wellness coaching.

I'm gonna go ahead and let her give an introduction. And what I really wanted to talk to her today is she was a first responder wife for 19 years. So there was so much that she has been able to gather to help the first responder community that I am so passionate about speaking to. So welcome to the Catapult Effect podcast, Coral. I'm so excited to have you on here with me.

Coral (00:48.53)
Thank you, Katie. I'm glad to be here too. And you are near and dear to my heart as well. And that's the beauty of this Cognomovement work is it brings us to the truth of who we are. And so when you get to share that journey with someone else, there's nothing like it, you know, as a friend. It's beautiful.

Katie Wrigley (01:04.588)
Yes, I agree. And we see this with couples as well. They tend to come together and that's one of your specialties which we're gonna be diving into later in this episode. But yeah, so would you be willing to give the audience a little bit of your background to just kind of where you came from and then what it was like being a first responder wife?

Coral (01:12.935)
you.

Coral (01:24.126)
Absolutely. So where I came from is a big, vast thing, but I'll keep it succinct. So basically, I grew up in Southern California. A family was together. So I came from a family that you stay together, you make it work. And there was a lot of dysfunction, that sort of thing, but that plays into the story.

And I worked as a 911 dispatcher, a librarian, substitute teacher. I've had all sorts of different professions. And then now as a certified Cognomovement practitioner, somatic activated healing coach, I have a bachelor's in psychology and I'm an Institute for Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and I'm a mom. So that's kind of a very brief background and a vast, vast history.

Katie Wrigley (02:13.752)
That's a lot of skills you just mentioned right there, especially that last one, mom. That's like the all -encompassing, I can't speak to it because I'm not a mom, but I have so much respect for you as a mother and all the mothers out there, including my own, who is wonderful. I lucked out in the mom card, for sure.

Coral (02:28.498)
Thank you. Yeah, it's it's its own thing, which is a beautiful thing. It's the most precious thing and it is the biggest teacher ever on this. It's it's it's amazing, but yeah.

Katie Wrigley (02:39.26)
You

That's what I hear, yeah, and you have two amazing kids too. So what was it like for you being the wife of a first responder, Coral? What is that, can you just give us a glimpse into what that world is like? Because a lot of people, may have a spouse that's doing shift work, but it is different than if you were married to a first responder, either a firefighter like you were married to, a police officer or a sheriff or a deputy or an EMT or paramedic.

Coral (03:08.924)
Yes, and absolutely every profession has its own thing that goes with it. And there is something about first responders for sure that is unique. And at first in that realm, I was familiar with it because I had actually been a paid call many years. So I knew what it was like to be on shift and that sort of thing. And what my former husband would may have experienced in some degree. And being a first responder

First of all, it was amazing in the beginning and it was amazing all through and we're friends now and it's amazing now that we're a former in that sort of thing. There's amazing aspects to it. The Fyre family that you marry into is very strong because of what they are facing on a daily basis creates this bond where the wives, not all of them, but you become friends because there's a support there. It's a natural support.

for those long times when you are by yourself. And so there is, it's like you're single and in a relationship. Because being with the first responder, when they're on shift, you're not calling and texting all the time. They are, you know, they have time, but it's really where they are on calls or preparing or training or whatever, know, depending on the day in the shift.

So in a way, you go to weddings, birthdays, lots of events by yourself, and they always ask, where's your husband? Where is he at? And you're like, he's on duty.

That's kind of a challenge aspect of the relationship because your schedule literally becomes revolving around their schedule. Like your whole world revolves around their schedule and they get forced. They have over times. know, and over times are optional, but then it's this whole push full of the golden handcuffs sort of thing. And for me, luckily with my former spouse, we chose early on, we're not going to play that game. So we were able to manage without getting where he's gone even more.

Katie Wrigley (05:01.646)
Mm -hmm.

Coral (05:12.224)
So the wonderful aspects, we traveled, we did all sorts of things. We cooked, we did all just fine. Anything was open. When he was home, we would have four or six days where we just, besides my work schedule, would just get to play essentially. And it was really, you know, there's no regrets, but it is definitely the schedule is probably one of the biggest challenges. And then the second part of a challenge, another challenge that's very big is

You have two people in two separate worlds for four to six days or even on shift if you're a police officer. But the worlds are so separate because like I said when they're on duty they're on duty. They're on call that whole time. They really can't relax. They are in a hyper vigilant state the entire time. And then they come home to you who's had let's see I had to get a tire changed or you know like there's more mundane type

Katie Wrigley (06:02.947)
Right.

Coral (06:13.34)
that aren't dealing with emergencies. And your emergencies are yours and theirs in a different level. But that hypervigilance comes home and all they want is to feel welcome and home. But your nervous system or you or me, I'm like, what? It was hard for me to, in hindsight I can see that it was nervous system. At the time I was just like, it would take me four days to relax around him.

four days to fully feel like we were a unit again. It's very stressful because you don't realize that they're in a hypervigilant state and they don't turn it off. They don't just come home and turn it off. But all they want is to be welcomed home. And you're like, your roll, dude. And it's just also unique to the person. I come from my own background. Other first responder wives and husbands won't have the same story, but it's same, same, but different.

Katie Wrigley (06:54.754)
Right?

Katie Wrigley (07:09.686)
Right, and thank you for acknowledging that. Everybody's situation is gonna look unique.

What about what was happening with your stress about your husband when he's on these calls, especially when we see these news headlines come in, if there's a fire here or there's this or there's this emergency or that emergency, what was that doing to you, Coral, when you didn't have access to your husband and you're seeing this on the news, which as we know is created to jack our nervous systems and get us stimulated. when someone that we love, especially a romantic partner is there, we're really going to immediately escalate. That's what the nervous system

was designed to do is ramp up when you need it and it's not gonna determine that you sitting in your living room.

Coral (07:47.516)
Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (07:52.062)
reading about or watching a story about a god -awful fire that all of the teams have responded to or whatever crisis is going on massive car wreck Whatever it may be your brain isn't thinking I'm safe here You're connected to that person you love and your heart is gonna be racing. You're gonna be terrified So what was that like for you on top of the disconnection? Reconnection kind of cycle you spoke to what was happening to your nervous system and your well -being when he was at work

Coral (08:21.458)
Well, absolutely. If there were no stories or no big calls, you kind of just get used to that. It's background. It's just, but you are, you, what you're saying is true. And I didn't realize it till we were going to do this podcast today. I was hypervigilant because of it as well. Like my own, my own stuff that I already brought to the plate that added into it because there, there was this worry, this concern, but you just learned to kind of put it in the background. So it becomes this background noise. But anytime there was a large incident with stuff going down,

Absolutely, you are glued to whatever source of communication you can have and you wait for them to

communicate with you via text, because sometimes on the fires they're gone for days and days. And sometimes there's no cell service at that time. And so you would just, no news was good news. You really go by, no news is good news. And then even in the mornings, you know, if they're late from shift, you do, you go, what's going on? Where are they? Because that's, whoo, I didn't realize this, but anyway, there's emotion here. Just, yeah, you know, you never want the knock to be from somebody, a member of their team.

But you do end up putting that in the background, but it's background that's always running. And it just becomes the normal part. So absolutely on big incidences would put you into a really watching and paying attention and waiting. And then always in the back of your mind is the possibility.

Katie Wrigley (09:50.456)
So, so far we talked about you two as a couple and some of the stressors. He's under, you're under, the reconnection, disconnection. Now, what got amplified or changed when you two had kids? We've already mentioned you have two beautiful kids. They're both teenagers. But what happened, Coral, within those stress limits, within your dynamic, when you had your kids first when they were infants, toddlers, and then, of course, over the course of their lives? So what changed?

Coral (10:17.492)
my goodness, well, kids change anything no matter who you are. it's like control or delete. You just have a new world to explore. But it's the same thing. It's the most amazing thing. What changed? Well, the stress added in because now you have two people who parent differently, who grew up differently, who are apart. And so you become single mom. And then when they come home, all of a sudden dad is home and it's like.

Katie Wrigley (10:20.566)
Yeah.

Coral (10:44.702)
For me, I wanted a break. I'm like, because they don't realize what you don't realize is, you know, when you're a mom, you're on 24 seven, you are on because you're focusing on what the needs are when they're infants, especially. And then they are on 24 seven because they can never not be on call. And then you come back together. And one thing I noticed now in hindsight, I realized it was also a coping response from him would be as soon as he would come home and I'd have the kids, he would be looking for something that

Off or wrong or something because he could fix it, right? I took it personally and it would just be like why is he always doing that? Well, cuz that is job. That's what he's doing He's looking for something to fix so that was a stressor every time he came home Not only did he want to be home now I'm extremely exhausted and I'm pissed off as he's looking for something It just it just compiled into that normal stress that we already had but it was also beautiful like

He is an amazing dad. Like he really is. When he's home, he is dad, you know? And that too plays into it because then all of a sudden when we were single, or not single, when we were just us two, it was all about each other, right? Well then when you have kids, it's all about the kids. So you're putting everything into the kids, they're putting everything into the kids, and there's that...

intimacy that releases some of the hyper vigilance that is still kind of expected, but not at the same time. And so to me, it became overwhelming. I really did become overwhelmed. And I thought it was a duty and that it became that when on his side, in his defense, it was never that for him. Like he never thought of it that way. But that's how I received it. And so that added into our I mean, it was the first child was, was just like,

It was we were learning and it was all good. When we introduced, when the second, when our son came, it was way more stressful. And I got sick right at that time. I ended up getting, I had cancer. I was pregnant and I had this growth on my leg. And as soon as he was born, I found out that it was cancer and it was anoplastic large cell lymphoma. And I was gonna start chemotherapy a month after he was born. And I'll let you interject if you have anything to say. It was all this taking.

Katie Wrigley (13:03.213)
I know that please continue Carl cuz I was actually gonna say like we so you've already talked about a lot of different sources of stress and you and I know from working with the nervous system and being in the wellness space there is a direct correlation with stress and

with illness of any type, whether it's autoimmune, whether it's cancer, whether it's chronic pain, we know that there's a link. So all of this stress in the preceding years and then by the time that you were pregnant with your second child, now your body is really starting to show signs as a stress and cancer. And every time you say this, like, even though I've never been a mom, I've never had a cancer diagnosis, thank God, knock on wood, but.

Coral (13:45.916)
Yes.

Katie Wrigley (13:47.586)
Both of those things alone, being a mom and a cancer diagnosis, scare the shit out of me. Together? my gosh. Please, please continue.

Coral (13:56.168)
Yeah, yeah, isn't something that it takes a long time to come down from that, you know, and I still like right now this is sparking emotion in me because.

It is one of the most helpless feelings you can ever, that I've ever experienced. Because one, you're going from just giving birth a month in and then you're going to start this heavy dose of chemotherapy and you're going to go through this journey. Now, let me say really fast, I want to mention the first responder family. Let me tell you, in this situation, they stepped in. They stepped in like, is it just delivering food if there was any finances covering his shifts even though he

Katie Wrigley (14:31.694)
I got chills.

Coral (14:37.95)
half the time and it was a lot. was a lot. And we did, it was something, wow Katie.

Katie Wrigley (14:40.214)
Now I'm going to cry. That's so amazing.

That's beautiful.

Katie Wrigley (14:53.1)
Yeah, take your time. This is a beautiful story.

Coral (14:53.67)
It was one of the hardest times of my life and it was also one of the biggest gifts that I've ever gotten. And I can only say that in hindsight because of what we went through together. Like again, he would be helpless, right? Cause he's now taking full -time care of the kids mostly, except for when, you know, when I could, like I, I wasn't, I didn't get my health changed, meaning I was in chemotherapy. And so of course your weakness, you're tired and that sort of thing. And I became depressed. And so it's like, does this story anyway?

But we still had beautiful times. We still would go on vacations. still you know, like even though I'm talking about these challenges We still had really cool stuff going on our families and all sort of things but this cancer diagnosis and then in the newborn That was a big the depression is what really shifted me into a whole new direction of

One, starting to actually do self -care, but unfortunately it came out in a bitter resentment way because I had seen how much I was, you you're exhausted and giving you the kids and then trying to be a partner and a wife and trying to have it all, right? I have it all together and I didn't and no one does and neither did he, you know what I mean? But you only see your side. So I started resenting him and it wasn't him really. It was actually my own childhood was coming out through

well, you know, because that does come up in this sort of stuff and not to say you could never correlate it to what was going on in our daily lives, but absolutely it was part of why I was the way I was behaving in the depression and all of that. And from that point on, it just kept going into further and further of a distance. So we still were family. We were still married. But I know that was the marked time where when I went into depression and started this other journey, that was kind of the

of the end and then yet we still continued. This was 15 years ago, almost 14 and then almost 15 years ago when I had the cancer and got through it. Everything's great, gravy. I've not had any recurrences. Everything's good there but from that moment, yeah, the stress just compounded and yeah, yeah.

Katie Wrigley (17:10.892)
So let's fast forward to the part of your journey where you've discovered Cognomovement. So I know just from knowing Coral personally, I know that one of the big changes that you made is you started to shift more into diet and started to fix some of your health issues through diet, which we have a whole episode about that further back in the repository, which we can link to in these notes if you want to hear more about that piece. But then you got introduced to Cognomovement.

and what started to change choral once you had your first session and then just take it from there. I'd love to hear this part of the journey.

Coral (17:40.894)
Absolutely. So if you read in my website, you can see I have had sciatica, low back pain, you know, just low self -worth like so much and sleepless nights. Sleep and my jaw was beyond tight like like like all the time because I was so wired and so stressed and as I started to do Cognomovement sessions, self Cognomovement sessions at that time, this is years ago now. Anyhow.

Coral (18:09.788)
I know, I just started, things started to shift as far as my physical health, my mental health. And I really got to experience peace. Cause I was meditating, I was speaking hard, I was a hard seeker. And Cognomovement truly was like, cause the results were tangible. And because I don't know if I'm ADHD or what, but my brain is like,

Katie Wrigley (18:24.994)
Yeah.

Coral (18:36.232)
So I needed, and I don't think it matters really, but for me, I needed something to bring me in my body, because I was out. holding the, and coming up with one of the tools is a ball, and it has shapes and colors on it because of the brain. But I needed something that gave me something to do while I focused on whatever I was releasing or working through. And what it did for me is it gave me the knowing that there is a better life possible.

and that there is peace and can be harmony. And so it would help me in my relationship, meaning I would work on something. But truly, until this last year, I didn't really know. But I would be considered, I would have been diagnosed with complex post -traumatic stress disorder if I had ever gone and done that. And that isn't just from, that's not from, that's from coming forth.

So knowing that it's taken me years to unwind, quite a bit of that, you know what I mean? Like I'm not the same person that I was. And also it allowed me to see that my marriage, even though you can fix anything literally, but I knew that it wasn't for me to continue. We tried, we went to counseling, we went to all the things.

But Cognomovement helped me through that time and it was hard. It was so hard to decide. I stayed for so long thinking this has got to work, but ultimately I wasn't healed enough. If I were at now where I'm at, and we're not going to get back together, but it wouldn't have happened this way because I am healed in so many ways that I would not respond to the things.

the same way anymore. I'm as cool as a cucumber sometimes or whatever, But so it helped me through the divorce because

Coral (20:30.04)
One, to make the decision, which took so much courage beyond courage and fear to work through being on your own, going back to being myself and having kids involved and what am I doing and all the pressure of the fire family, my own family, his family, our own pressure. Cognomovement got me through that and it did it in a beautiful way and I was willing. I was willing to keep facing myself and keep facing the crap that was coming up and it was bound and is profound.

Katie Wrigley (20:59.726)
And that's amazing and thank you for sharing that. So is it safe to say that cognomovement also helped provide clarity? Because we've heard about other cases with other practitioners where the couple actually came back together because there was a big perspective shift. like, my gosh, I don't actually want to divorce this person. But the opposite happened with you. And again, I know the story. I don't want to tell it. It's your story.

Coral (21:18.195)
Yes.

Katie Wrigley (21:25.67)
But how did Cognomovement aid you with getting that clarity to decide whether you two are going to continue or whether you're not? Because that's a very personal decision for every couple to make and it needs to be based purely on the needs of those two people and what they are prioritizing because it's their marriage, it's no one else's. Even if there are children there, it was up to you and your husband to figure out the same way it is for any other couple who's listening.

Coral (21:50.076)
Yes, no, it, what it, yes, it did bring extreme clarity to me because I would keep doing the sessions around the things that I would have resentment towards or bitter towards or whatever was going on. And it would be fine for a while, but then something else would come up. So there was just never, I could, we just didn't have peace together in a way that I knew was possible. And I, like I said, knowing now what I know, if not to say that

Katie Wrigley (22:12.93)
Wait.

Coral (22:20.72)
But it wouldn't be the same. But it needed to be the same because I needed to close that chapter and so did he. He has moved on. He's in a beautiful relationship. I'm friends with the new woman and the partner, girlfriend, whatever. And the kids like her. And I also learned from the divorce. And I now, I want to speak to that a little too. It allowed us to do a very unique situation called nesting. There might be other terms. And because he's a firefighter,

He goes to work for four days and then home for six, or he goes to work for six days and home for four, not barring forces or anything else.

So we have a family home at the moment where whence the divorce was inevitable, like, and we both agreed on the divorce. actually both came, we came, because of Cognomovement, we came to a place where there wasn't bitterness, resentment, all of that. We just both agreed, yes, let's move forward with the paperwork. And so we did. And this is actually in October when it was finalized. So it's still fresh. But in the journey of Cognomovement and this divorce and all of this,

I was able to, we were able to see that this would be the best is to when he's at work, I live at the family house. And then when he is home with the kids, I live in an apartment.

my own space. And so the kids aren't having to move a lot. And cognomovement continues to help me because let me tell you, moving a lot isn't fun. And I just imagine those kids that have to do it. And I'm the one that does it. And I'm very grateful for this opportunity. But cognomovement also allows me to be able to de -stress that because you're going from, again, your environment to that environment. And it is mostly his home. You know, it is his place. then when the kids are there. So all that down, you know, I don't want to keep going

Coral (24:08.868)
So that's how it has helped us transform this into an amicable friends. We can have dinner together, we can play pickleball, family, we're still friends with each other's families. It's all good, yet we are not going to be together, yet we will be friends for the rest of our lives.

Katie Wrigley (24:24.938)
Yeah, and it sounds like from conversations we've had, correct me if I'm wrong, that the kids are doing great with the split. They aren't bothered by it. They're actually both thriving.

You know, you mentioned that your ex -husband is he's in a new relationship again. That's something that you know, you've you and I have talked about that you don't personally feel like you're just ready yet, but everybody has a different timeline for that and there's no wrong answer again with that. But what I love about this is that you guys went through one of the most stressful experiences. You went through multiple stressful experiences couples can have. You've done out -of -state moves. You've had kids. You've had cancer with kids. You've had a high -stress job on one side with

work schedule and you still manage to have the most amicable divorce I've ever in my life heard of and would you attribute that to a cognomovement coral?

Coral (25:14.611)
Yeah.

Coral (25:18.462)
100 % and my willingness to do the work because Yeah, cuz it cuz you can leave it as you you can leave it as it is, you know Anytime you can leave it as it is however with the kids and and when I would see something off because it isn't you know I can't say it's perfect like yeah, you know, this is the model of American society. However, I know

Katie Wrigley (25:21.654)
Yes. Yeah.

Coral (25:41.852)
When I see something a little off, I take it through in myself and then I set a place for my kids to talk to me about things that are going on in their lives or how they feel about it. And I check in regularly. I'm like...

Hey, I don't need more, but I did in the beginning. like, if you ever need to talk, is there anything, how are you feeling about this divorce? How are you feeling about their new girlfriend? How are you feeling? And they're like, yeah, it's fine. I'm sure there's things, but they're thriving. So that's not such a thing. I forgot the question exactly, but I wanted to touch on the kid thing.

Katie Wrigley (26:15.554)
was just attributing the amicable divorce and the thriving to cognomovement. And I love that you pointed out, like, nothing happens in a bubble. We have to do the work. It's not just working the ball and going, hey, I feel so much better. No, there is focus involved and a will to change that is involved as well. Those are two keys I found are pretty important in this work.

Coral (26:28.551)
Yeah.

Coral (26:36.091)
Absolutely, yeah.

Katie Wrigley (26:38.126)
So I actually want to take an opportunity and just share with the audience to say how much you personally have helped me through our sessions. So the first time I met Coral, it was at the end of 2020 after I had done Cognoconscious and I permanently changed my pain and it became so clear that I need to get out of corporate and I was terrified because I was very high maintenance with my health at that point. think 2020 was the first year in six years that I had not hit my max out of pocket for health

Which by the way does not mean you get free health insurance halfway through the year. It means you paid for all your health insurance in too much. Which sucks. Just so you know. People are like, you get it for free. No, no. I did not get it for free. I paid for it all in two months instead of 12. It was awesome. But anyway, Coral started to help me. And that was not one session. I had been in corporate for almost 24 years at that point. I left six months after that.

Coral (27:11.869)
Thank

you

Coral (27:30.479)
Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (27:36.962)
but she started to help me break through the fear and I'm lucky enough that she and I get to work together pretty regularly and do trades together to continue to help each other and she has really helped me and this is gonna be a great segue into how you can help the audience and what you specialize in with Cognamovement. But you've really helped me with my relationships with myself, with my parents and especially my mom. Coral actually works with my mom a couple times a week and

Coral (27:53.875)
Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (28:06.956)
getting great results actually. gosh, I'll share it with you later but something really cool happened at bar today but I don't want to take away from this session. I was like whoa that was the reason like I could see the evidence of the work that Coral does with my mom and I chose not to work with my mom because I'm too attached to the outcome whereas Coral is not and so I was not effective as a practitioner and not something I've realized if it's something I'm close to

I may not be effective and I'm going to refer to someone else because it's more important that the person get the help versus my neediness or my want to fix it getting in the way there.

I have amazing relationships with my animals, with my friends, with my family. And Coral has been a huge part of that. She's helped me clear out grief. This woman has seen me ugly cry probably more times than anyone else except for my coach that's seen me in psychedelic ceremony. Those two have probably seen the most ugly cries coming out of me of all the humans on earth. And she just beautifully holds space. There's never any judgment. And I feel so much better. And it has helped me grow in leaps and bounds

Coral (29:03.289)
Thank

Katie Wrigley (29:16.592)
from the sessions that I've been doing with Coral and that doesn't even touch on just getting to know her and the honor of being her friend and getting to call her my friend just on the Cogno piece, a movement piece alone has been hugely impactful, let alone on the personal level and how much this beautiful human is just bringing into my life.

Coral (29:35.698)
Thank you, Katie. And you know it's good and all that.

Katie Wrigley (29:37.28)
And so I, well thank you. But I'd love to have you segue to how you help people, what niche you have specialized in, and then we'll make sure that we wrap up with where people can find you and we'll have all that in the show notes so people can reach out to you directly and grab a call with you and see if you guys are a good fit.

Coral (30:02.226)
Beautiful. Thank you, Katie. Yes, absolutely. I love working with relationships of all things, right? I've been through it. So I absolutely love if couples want to work and come together because it's so possible. And the magic that comes from a couple session is, mean, I just like, is this real? because the connection they come to and all the stuff, their nervous systems actually come into harmony together. And I've worked with infidelity. I've worked with fighting over finances. I've worked

court cases and custody battles I've worked with.

children not wanting to go for visitation. And I've worked with so many aspects of relationships and single people feeling so lonely and just, you you end up coming into relationship with yourself. so then when you do find a relationship, it's different than what it used to be. So relationships are my thing. And I absolutely love repairing family relationships. I've worked a lot with children and parents and that sort of thing and in couples. And yeah, I absolutely love working in relationship.

Katie Wrigley (31:07.01)
Awesome. And so you can work with a couple at the same time then. Did I hear you correctly?

Coral (31:10.662)
Yes, on Zoom or in person. it is as long as it's somewhat amicable, know, as long as I want to. If you have two willing people, absolutely love it. Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (31:21.826)
Yes, yeah and again that's key like you don't want to be dragging your spouse if they're not up for it they're not up for it and it's amazing.

Coral (31:26.684)
Yeah. When you need you. Yeah, correct.

Katie Wrigley (31:29.516)
Yeah, yes, exactly. It's amazing what can still shift in that dynamic even if only half of the couple is willing to go. You but you mentioned some really, really catabolizing events there. Infidelity, that's not something that people normally don't have much of a reaction to. Same with custody cases. Those are big, really stressful, really emotionally fraught situations. Like those are not things that happen in a bubble that do not have a deep impact. Like someone's talking about taking your kids

way you are immediately into hypervigilance. You found out that someone has betrayed you, your world is shattered. Like these are not easy things and it sounds like you're very skilled at helping people work through those.

Coral (32:06.034)
Yes.

Coral (32:11.152)
Yes, because ultimately, and you know we know this, maybe most people don't, but when you have a calm nervous system around this charged event, which might be more than one session, those are all more than one session.

You can come from a place where you make decisions from neutrality. So it actually gives you back your decisions and choices as opposed to an emotionally charged, I'm going to get them or this is done forever or those sort of decisions. Those are emotionally charged. And so what we're doing with Cognomovement is we are letting the nervous system come into harmony and balance around something that is so big.

that they get their decisions and choices back. And it's as simple as that. And feelings, we're so programmed that we don't want to feel these big feelings. They'll never end. If we open them up, just, and yeah, they're rough sometimes. But the gold at the end, they're just feelings. It's an emotion or a sensation or a physical symptom. That's what it is. And so when we can work with that in the nervous system, we've caused a movement.

miracles, seeming miracles happen. And it's literally just the nervous system being in harmony.

Katie Wrigley (33:19.298)
Would you be able to share one miracle that you've helped facilitate through the people you've worked with, Coral?

Coral (33:25.628)
Well, the one I talked about before, yeah, I'll go with this one. Really literally. then, it's, yeah, okay. So the one that I like is there was a child who didn't want to visit one of the parents and it had been a couple months. They're like, not going, no. And there wasn't any sort of abuse or whatever going on. It's just that for whatever reason, there was something not happening that was discord.

Katie Wrigley (33:30.734)
There's so many I know.

Coral (33:55.23)
And it was getting to a point where the parent that brought them to me was like, I don't know what to do because it's part of the thing. It's part of the thing, part of the custody, part of all of it. And also it's important that they have a relationship with this parent.

And so we did a session and it was the person was a teen and they got to get out so much anger and so much stuff that just we didn't talk about why and what it was just the feelings of it coming out. They went to that other parents home that weekend and they asked to stay an extra day. Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (34:30.958)
aww

Coral (34:32.56)
And then, so you just, that's bridging that relationship, right? It's repairing somewhere. Not to say that it's perfect, you know, whatever, but that alone to me is like, wow. And that's one, that was one session on that, you know? So yeah, that tiny stuff happens on a regular basis with Cognow. And it's really amazing to be a part of. It's so, so, it's just such a gift to be this, doing this profession.

Katie Wrigley (34:58.914)
Yeah, I love that. it's such a big shift, right? To go from resistance to being there, getting all that stuff out. And kids, have more neuroplasticity than we do, so they tend to be way more responsive to cognomovement than we are. And they're easy, too. Because it's because so much.

Coral (35:18.567)
They are, but they're a little more easy to become resistant than adults because they go, what am I doing this and why am I having to this? But they are active, but when they do it, yes they are.

Katie Wrigley (35:24.194)
That is true.

Katie Wrigley (35:29.59)
Yeah. So where can people find you, Carl?

Coral (35:33.668)
thank you. Yes, so my website is coralbucannon .com, which will be in the notes. Instagram, Coral B Insta. You can find me in LinkedIn, and I am also creating a conscious community called Conscious Creation Community on the school platform, SKOOL. Thank you.

Katie Wrigley (35:51.87)
Awesome. We'll make sure we link to all of those, Coral. before we wrap, if there was one action that you would want someone in the audience to take today, if they're stressed out in their marriage, they're married to or dating a first responder, just feeling like they're overwhelmed, maybe they're a new parent, what is something that you would want to say to that person today to help give them hope and give them an action item to help them start to move forward from where they are?

Coral (36:19.26)
Yes, ask for help.

It's Some people may think there's not, but if you are at that place and you need help, whether it is getting counseling, whether it's a neighbor, whether it's a family member, whether it's a fire or police or EMS personnel's wife, husband, whatever, ask or ask your partner. Ask because when we ask, we come to our true place of vulnerability. And I can guarantee you the other person didn't even know you were going through what you're going through. They just

And that's the biggest thing I can say is to ask.

Katie Wrigley (36:53.646)
Yep.

That's beautiful and you just brought up a good point is a lot of times we think that our partner should be a mind reader and they should just know how upset or depressed or angry or whatever that we should be.

they're kind of going on the no news is good news. you haven't complained, therefore everything's fine. So really ask for help, speak up, even just the power of like, hey, I'm not going to take any action. Like you don't need to worry about me, but I am not okay right now. And I need you to know that.

Coral (37:25.66)
Yes, yes, that alone dissolves stuff. And I know some people go, well, I'm always saying that and they don't listen anymore. You know, we're gonna ask someone else because, or yeah, I don't know. I'll leave it at that because I'm a gun hunter. So yeah, that's truly the biggest thing is there is help available somewhere, somewhere.

Katie Wrigley (37:44.822)
Wonderful, thank you and thank you for your time today, Coral. It was wonderful to connect with you on here and talk about your experience as a first responder wife and how you have been able to use Cognomovement to help to remedy a lot of the stress that was in your body as well as cultivating this amazing family dynamic. You know, and I actually want to make one last note before we pause here. So you'd mentioned like it's not perfect, it's not perfect.

Perfection shouldn't be anybody's goal. I'm just gonna go out on the limb there. Don't strive for perfection. You're gonna drive yourself crazy and you're never gonna get there because you're a human. So you're never gonna be perfect. So just let go of that idea. It's gonna be a lot easier even if you're like screw you Katie. I'm perfect. You're not. You're human. I'm not perfect. Coral's not perfect. None of us are. Perfection is not what we're striving for. We're looking for progress and forward progress is something to celebrate. So if your kids are thriving, even if it's not a perfect situation, celebrate that.

Coral (38:25.18)
Yeah.

Coral (38:39.518)
Yes, well said. 100 % true. 100 % true. Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (38:41.868)
Hahaha.

Katie Wrigley (38:45.47)
Thank you again for your time and thank you audience for listening. I will be back again next week with another episode and until then please be well.