Living a Life on Your Terms with Michael Ian Cedar

Michael Ian Cedar, an executive coach, shares his journey and insights on mindset, leadership, and gratitude. He emphasizes the importance of living life on your own terms and finding fulfillment in your work. Michael discusses the power of gratitude in shifting mindset and taking action. He distinguishes between debilitating gratitude and productive gratitude, highlighting the need for self-awareness and focusing on what you have control over.

Michael also talks about his Facebook group, Gratitude Slam, which provides a positive and supportive environment for practicing gratitude. In this conversation, Katie and Michael discuss the power of gratitude and the Life on Your Terms program. Katie shares how practicing gratitude has helped her shift her perspective and find positivity even on bad days.

Michael explains that Life on Your Terms is about living a life on your own terms and taking control of your inner critic, loving your inner child, recognizing your potential and needs, and acting on them. They also discuss the importance of accessibility and providing valuable information for free.

Takeaways
Living life on your own terms and finding fulfillment in your work is essential.
Gratitude has a bias towards taking action and helps shift mindset.
There are two types of gratitude: debilitating gratitude and productive gratitude.
Choosing your focus and practicing gratitude can lead to a more positive and fulfilling life.
The Gratitude Slam Facebook group provides a supportive environment for practicing gratitude. Practicing gratitude can help shift your perspective and find positivity even on bad days.
Life on Your Terms is about living a life on your own terms and taking control of your inner critic, loving your inner child, recognizing your potential and needs, and acting on them.
Accessibility and providing valuable information for free are important in helping others heal and find solutions.
Clarity is power, so it's important to identify the real result you want and take action towards it.

Where to find Michael:
Gratitude Slam
Life On Your Terms

Credit: Tom Giovingo, Intro & Outro, Random Voice Guy, Professional ‘Cat‘ Herder

Mixed & Managed: JohnRavenscraft.com

Disclaimer: Katie is not a medical professional and she is not qualified to diagnose any conditions. The advice and information she gives is based on her own experience and research. It does not take the place of medical advice. Always consult a medical professional first before you try anything new.

Transcript

Katie Wrigley (00:00.837)
Welcome to the Catapult Effect podcast. I am your host, Katie Wrigley, and I have another amazing guest with me today, Michael Ian Cedar. So Michael and I were introduced years ago when I was still disabled, and he has created this amazing group on Facebook that we're gonna make sure that we talk about in here. And he also has some incredible programs like Life on Your Terms that are...

specifically designed for busy professionals to help you start to live the life that you want on your terms. So as usual, I'm bringing in guests that are going to help catapult you forward as experts in their own arena. And so welcome Michael, executive coach as well. I forgot to mention that. Welcome to the Catapult Effect podcast, Michael. I love when I get to connect with

Michael Ian Cedar (00:49.366)
it's always amazing. It always feels right. So thank you for having me here. And I'm grateful that I'm one of the people that you see that can help the audience, your audience and your listeners.

Katie Wrigley (01:00.897)
absolutely. mean, part of who I'm trying to help was the former me and I've taken your life on your terms as you were starting to build it. And it was such a huge impactful exercise for me. I could not have you on the podcast.

Michael Ian Cedar (01:12.3)
Yeah, well thank you. Yeah, and that's grown quite a bit since then. You came in, I think, version number one.

Katie Wrigley (01:18.861)
Yeah, I think I was actually. Yeah, and I've seen some of the things that you've done and I definitely want to highlight some of the benefits of that program, what you've been seeing. So let's just back up a little bit. And how did you become an executive coach, Michael?

Michael Ian Cedar (01:24.61)
Thank

Michael Ian Cedar (01:31.446)
Yeah, I am an executive coach and I even go a little deeper than that. I like I I try to bucket it so people can understand it. I'm a mindset and leadership coach and I happen to work with executives and I'll even go even one step deeper. A lot of people are like, so what are you? You know, I'm here in New York City. It's a very career centric place. People go, what do you do? And I go, what do you mean? What do you do? I'm like, he breathes sleep, you know, the normal human things like, professionally, what do you do?

Katie Wrigley (01:57.861)
Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (01:59.406)
I'm like, well, you know how people spend their entire lives trying to, you know, get a certain salary or certain job or certain family dynamic. And they're like, and then they hate their lives when they get it. And they're like, yeah, I totally know what that's like. I go, well, that's what I do. I help them. And like, I need you. And it's almost like it's 100 percent almost that like when people ask me and I say that, they're like, I'm here.

Katie Wrigley (02:17.965)
You're mine.

Michael Ian Cedar (02:26.158)
What got me in there, into that world was I used to be an executive myself in entertainment and a manager and a leader in entertainment, whether it was Broadway bus and truck tours or producing events that toured to 70 cities a year. I was crispy and I was burning out and I had some serious imposter syndrome. And the part of the job that I liked most was there were certain people that I worked with or that worked for me

truly wanted to be the best version of themselves. And I loved working with them. And so when the time came, or not when the time came as I was starting to work, I started coaching people like just, I would be like, Hey, I really love helping people that want to do great. So I would invite them like to bars and I would buy them drinks to let me just coach them. And then they would be like, Hey, can we do this long form?

Katie Wrigley (02:58.531)
Michael Ian Cedar (03:24.654)
Or they'd be like, hey, I have a friend who this would be perfect for. And so there came a tipping point where I said, you know, I really get great fulfillment in working with people that want to do the best work of their life and mean it. And I over time started coaching while having a full time job as a producer and as an executive. And eventually, January 1st, 2020, I cut the cord and

Katie Wrigley (03:27.562)
you

Michael Ian Cedar (03:53.454)
went full -time coaching and my gosh. And what a year to transition 2020.

Katie Wrigley (03:59.399)
Right. You were ahead of the great American, what did they call it? Basically a whole bunch of people deciding that they didn't need to be in corporate America anymore. That's so cool. I actually, I don't think I realized that about you because the first time we worked together was actually 2019.

Michael Ian Cedar (04:04.686)
Woo!

Michael Ian Cedar (04:10.754)
Yeah, I was just ahead.

Katie Wrigley (04:21.625)
And I did not have enough information to fully like you helped me so much even in those first coaching sessions. And the biggest takeaway was I have no idea what I'm doing yet. I need to figure out what I'm doing and who I'm focusing on before I can make this a business, which is so valuable to get.

Michael Ian Cedar (04:26.581)
thanks. Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (04:34.99)
Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (04:38.958)
Yes, yes. Right, when you look at your life like a business, yeah, very much so. And when we were working in 2019, there would have been eight or nine other people working in the other space over here at the time because we had such an operations going on. And I was just like, nah, we're done here. Like this is going to come to an end. And it was actually a three year transition. I actually told my the people that I was partnering with at the time, hey, in three years, I want to be out. And we picked January one, 2020. So.

Katie Wrigley (04:49.713)
Wow.

Katie Wrigley (05:08.112)
Nice.

Michael Ian Cedar (05:08.256)
It was a bit strategic and yeah, and to anyone since, you know, so many people listening to this are business professionals, right? Just because things are the way they are doesn't mean it has to be that way. And there are responsible ways to transition yourself into new roles, into new things to fulfill you. And one of the things, Katie, that comes up a remarkable amount, in fact, in that same time that I was working with you,

Katie Wrigley (05:26.533)
Yes.

Michael Ian Cedar (05:37.624)
There were two women in New York, and they both came here to the office, and they said, hey, I heard you help people live a life on their terms, and I'm an executive in corporate America. One was in finance, and the other was in pharmaceuticals. And when I say finance and pharmaceuticals, names I guarantee you, you possess in your wallet or home of the companies, right? And both of them wanted to leave their jobs.

Katie Wrigley (06:02.437)
Right.

Michael Ian Cedar (06:06.56)
And it just happened to be side by side that these meetings happened to happen. It was just something fell into my lap, same theme twice. And I said, why do you want to leave your job to both of them? Obviously, separately. And they both had almost identical answers. Hate my boss, hate my staff, company values done uphold what's important to me, I'm burnt out. Like they both had the same exact answer.

And I said, so what's the result you want? said, I want to switch jobs. And I said, I can't help you. And they're like, what are you talking about? Like, this is what you do. You were recommended to me. I said, I'll make you a deal. I'll only work with you if you say, I'm willing to make where I am now the best I can possibly make it and that I can make myself satisfied here. And if you can make yourself satisfied where you are, I'll help you switch your job. I'll help you get a new job. Because back then, I was doing more career coaching.

helping people transition. And, and I was shocked. Both of them said, okay. I was like, okay, now I was like, I really got to show up. You know, now I'm like, really? I'm like, why are you listening to me? Right? ever have that as a coach? We're like, you're actually doing what we talked about? Like, why would you do that? Like, and then you're like, and then you go, if that's why

Katie Wrigley (07:06.331)
Nice.

Katie Wrigley (07:14.895)
You're right!

Katie Wrigley (07:26.535)
and then it works and it's like, I hoped it would work, but I didn't actually think you were gonna follow through. I love it when people follow through with my advice because it actually winds up only 100 % of the time giving them better results than I had hoped.

Michael Ian Cedar (07:33.441)
YEAH, YEAH!

Michael Ian Cedar (07:41.528)
Correct. And so in both situations, not only did they not leave their companies, they were promoted into jobs they wanted.

Katie Wrigley (07:52.533)
I love that. I love

Michael Ian Cedar (07:55.374)
And I don't know where they are now because that was probably 2019, you know, and every now and then I check in on them. But the last time I checked in, they were still

Katie Wrigley (07:59.11)
Yeah, it was.

Katie Wrigley (08:04.171)
That's so awesome, and it just goes to show you know we can be so certain that we need something and what we actually need is a perspective shift

Michael Ian Cedar (08:14.494)
It's, you know, when I was in my early 20s, I had a classmate named Brooke and she was a Southern girl, Southern accent, Southern values. And she just said, Grandma always said, make sure your front porch is always swept. And it's like, we think what we want and what we need are two different things. And it's like, we got to make sure we're clean here and we got to make sure that we're doing everything in our integrity to stay aligned and sincere with who we are.

Katie Wrigley (08:37.542)
Yep.

Michael Ian Cedar (08:42.966)
and try to get those relationships to work, unless there's something that's so misaligned you have to leave, which wasn't the case for these two other women that I'm referring to. They just were, they were blaming everything on the external world and they had to do something with a perspective shift for themselves.

Katie Wrigley (09:03.239)
That's a perfect segue because you actually, I would consider you an expert in one of the best ways that I know to shift your mind and that is gratitude.

Michael Ian Cedar (09:14.424)
so of you.

Katie Wrigley (09:15.321)
So I would love to talk a little bit about gratitude and then go into the amazing gigantic group you have grown on Facebook. It's one of my favorite places to go. And if you are feeling down, I highly recommend we'll make sure the link to the group is in the show notes here so that if you have a bad day, you can pop on in there. It is full of positive energy. It's full of amazing lives. Michael comes on every week going live. He has a bunch of other people who are chiming in and it's just it just feels good. It's like getting a hug on the

Michael Ian Cedar (09:32.919)
Hahaha.

Katie Wrigley (09:45.305)
to go into the accreditation plan.

Michael Ian Cedar (09:45.422)
That's great way of explaining it.

Katie Wrigley (09:49.903)
And that's how it feels. Like the last time we went in, I'm like, I feel like I'm being hugged by everybody in here. It just feels so welcoming. Everybody's so welcoming in there. It's wonderful. So how did you start to tune in on gratitude being one of the keys to mindset shifts, Michael?

Michael Ian Cedar (10:03.734)
Yeah, and I think think I think I think about gratitude a little more unconventional compared to like, you know, the beautiful swag that you can buy at a hallmark that's like, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. Right. So gratitude played a role in my life because I'm pretty certain that if I actually allowed a professional to diagnose me when I was younger, they'd say I was depressed.

Katie Wrigley (10:16.7)
Mm.

Michael Ian Cedar (10:32.876)
and I have depression. And people tried to put me on medications. And there was something intuitively inside of me that was like, I'm not interested in that. And maybe because since I was eight years old, I was always very in tune with human potential. mean, when I was eight years old, I was listening to Tony Robbins' audio cassettes in my dad's tape player.

Katie Wrigley (10:59.055)
wow.

Michael Ian Cedar (11:01.678)
And it was just something I was exposed to. And so there was something in me that's like, I know there's another way out of this darkness. And so whether it's depression or otherwise, it was a darkness. And I'm going to use that as a catch -all phrase. And so I found one of the ways that I was able to cure or move through the darkness was by stating gratitude, focusing on gratitude.

Now along the way, because this is all stuff from my childhood into my early adult lives, I found there's two kinds of gratitude. There's debilitating gratitude, where you're just saying the words and lying to yourself like, I'm so grateful that somebody loves me versus like, no, they're abusive to you and they use crappy language. Like, it's really easy to use gratitude as a cop out to stay in something that's not serving you. And then the other kind of gratitude I discovered was productive gratitude.

Katie Wrigley (11:54.109)
Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (11:59.182)
And so even in my late 20s, early 30s, I had these doubts where I was like, I couldn't explain why I felt so bad, why I felt so dark, why I felt so blue. And so in 2017, a friend of mine introduced me to this app that I don't even think exists anymore called Periscope, which was a live, the first live streaming app. was actually acquired by Twitter and then Facebook just like

dominated. But anyways, I was introduced to it. And all I would do is I'd go online and I said, and I wrote, I'm going to talk about gratitude. And so I come on and because I needed it for myself to get out of this experience, I didn't have a way out. I would just go, Hey, I'm here to talk about what I'm grateful for. And we would talk about and I would go like, here's what I'm grateful for. What would you be grateful for? And people would type their answers. We had

In Periscope days, thousands of people show up to this live. And I was like, wow, this is fun. And now I felt good. felt like I was giving something. People are sharing gratitude. And I'd be like, hey, I'll come on tomorrow this time and do it again. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And it just kept rolling until Periscope started to lose face, and I went to Facebook on it. But here's why I find gratitude is such a powerful tool in the times of adversity and darkness.

It's because gratitude has a bias towards taking action in our life. And it's not lying to ourselves, like I said. It's going... Gratitude and optimism are cousins to each other, right? And optimism, if you look at the... I believe it's Latin or Greek. I can't remember if it's Latin or Greek. The root of the word optimism is optimum. And optimum just means the best thing. So gratitude is...

Katie Wrigley (13:41.445)
Yes.

Katie Wrigley (13:54.374)
Right.

Michael Ian Cedar (13:55.662)
Well, what is the best thing I have right now? So in the days that I was living credit card to credit card versus check to check, I'll go, well, what is the best thing? Well, the best thing right now is I've got another $100 on this credit card. OK, now that I see what I have versus what I don't have, I can do something with what I have. What do I have right now? My boss says I'm a jerk. OK, what am I grateful for? My boss is communicating with me.

Katie Wrigley (14:18.295)
Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (14:26.028)
Because now I can go, now that I know they're communicating with me, what can I do with that? I can say back, I can write, I can say, I'd like to have a meeting and let you know when you said that to me, this is how I me feel. Versus, so you have either a lack mindset, I don't have a work environment I like, I don't have a boss I like, I don't like my life. Then

Katie Wrigley (14:42.779)
Right.

Michael Ian Cedar (14:54.06)
not to sound woohoo, but you get more of what you focus on. That's it. Right? If I were to say right now, you know, for those of you listening, this won't work for you the same way, or actually, heck, I could do it like this. I want you to count how many times I say the word count in the next section. How many times did I say count already, right? Now if I go, great, how many times did I say the word

you won't be able to tell me because you're focused on the word count, right? If I were to say, look at everything in my room that's yellow, and I go, great, now close your eyes, tell me everything that's red. You can only tell me the things that's yellow. So if I focus on all the bad that's in my life, then you just, what you focus on expands, and that's not a woohoo statement. What you focus on, this is something that the human brain does. It's a survival technique. And so to answer the question by going, what's the best thing right now?

Katie Wrigley (15:40.827)
Yeah. Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (15:48.244)
it has a bias towards action. takes us out of victim and villain mode, and it puts us into creator and co

Katie Wrigley (15:58.511)
I love that. Yeah. And you're right. So there is a part of the brain called I may say it wrong. The abbreviation is the R .E .S. The reticular activating system. And so when that gets going and so you're right, like it's the same reason of like don't think about an elephant. What are you thinking about? An elephant because it doesn't hear the negation.

Michael Ian Cedar (16:05.858)
Alright. Yep, that's

Michael Ian Cedar (16:14.424)
Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (16:17.483)
And that's the way the brain works. it's so easy to start to program it in. it's also, you know, like because this show is works with first responders and business professionals as well. That's why a lot of police officers get to a point where they just they go into a very, very small, isolated world because they're seeing all the bad guys out there all the time. So that's their awareness. So they're seeing it more and more and more. Whereas you and I, we don't have to deal with all the criminals and all the scary stuff out there on a day to day

And so we don't see that as quickly as they do. it's. Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (16:52.123)
It's why I don't watch the news because the news knows, right, advertisers pay the news and the news knows fear sells. So I just go to my mother and my mother -in what do I need to know today? And they tell me everything, they still tell me more than I need to know. But I don't want to fill my mind that this is the world because that's not the world. know, Einstein said, I might get the quote a little wrong,

Katie Wrigley (17:03.142)
Yep.

you

Michael Ian Cedar (17:20.568)
But Einstein said the most important decision you're going to make in your life is to make the decision, is the universe hostile or friendly?

I might be getting the quote a little wrong there, but I know the intention is

Katie Wrigley (17:33.928)
Yeah, yeah. I love your mom, by the way. But that that cracked me up because I can I do the same thing. Like if I want to know what's going on in the world, I can just ask my parents. My mom's plugged into Fox News all day long. Not saying anything about Fox News. I'm not even going to go into it. I just know that I can't watch it with her because it's on for 30 seconds and I am immediately pissed off. And I'm like, I can't, can't. So I'll leave it. Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (17:42.102)
Oop, I think I lost it. Can you hear

Michael Ian Cedar (17:56.962)
Yeah, and that's the role of produce news is to keep your attention and make you a heightened state so you are addicted to

Katie Wrigley (18:08.059)
Yeah, no, no thanks, I'm all set. So tell us a little bit about Gratitude Slam. How many members do you have in there now? Last time I looked, I was like, holy cow, like there's people pouring in left and right.

Michael Ian Cedar (18:18.382)
So the gratitude slam is the Facebook group, You were mentioning before and it is my way of making sure that this kind of mindset is accessible to anyone because I don't believe there's anything such as a perfect person, but I think a self -aware person is as close to perfect as you're ever going to get. And so we ask questions to go, well, what do I have? Where am I maybe not serving myself? Right? And focusing on the things where we do have control over.

So the group is, you know, it's about 5 ,200 members strong right now. Yeah, which is really cool because I remember when I was like really excited when we hit like 50 people. The thing that's most interesting about the group is on an average month we have roughly 50 % engagement. Now why I think that's cool is the average Facebook group that is successful, it's 5%. It's 5 % engagement. That's right, the average Facebook

should have 5 % average engagement, we have 50%. Now, I wanna grow the group bigger, it's really important to me because I think more people, I truly am on a, know, a crusade to help people be able to choose their focus. And I think with the advent of everything that beeps and buzzes and has a red dot in our life that shows up and saying you have 40 people yelling at you and then another 40.

Katie Wrigley (19:19.58)
Wow.

Michael Ian Cedar (19:43.726)
dot dot dot and that app that says you got another 60 people yawning at. Like we have to choose our focus and gratitude is a choice to focus on, right? And so yeah, it's sort of my labor of love because I just want to create an environment where people can feel gooder. I know that's not a word for those of you that are literary.

Katie Wrigley (20:08.529)
You

Michael Ian Cedar (20:10.68)
But that's really what it is. It's like, I don't need you to feel excellent. I just need you to feel gooder. Because if you can feel gooder today, then you can feel even gooder tomorrow. And that's all I want, is people to feel

Katie Wrigley (20:24.878)
Yeah,

And I love that. even love that you're saying good or instead of the whatever it would be. But so I want to just share with the audience really quick what the impact of your gratitude teachings have been directly on my life. So as I mentioned, Michael and I actually did some one to one coaching in 2019. But I was my the year that I was disabled was twenty eighteen. And so another coach of mine, Melanie Curtis, who's awesome, she was like, hey, I think you may like this group.

Michael Ian Cedar (20:29.879)
Hahaha

Katie Wrigley (20:55.151)
you know, check it out. think it may help you with where you are right now. And at that point, like my life was friggin' annihilated. I couldn't move very much. My pain levels were through the roof. I had, I...

not so affectionately refer to that point in my life where I had blown it up twice. There was a marriage that really shouldn't have existed coupled with a relationship that I tried to use and it was just a hot mess all the way around and that leveled my body after ignoring all the stress that I had been under and had been ignoring for about 40 years at that point. So my body just kind of gave me the double middle finger, sat my ass down and demanded that I start doing things differently. Gratitude and starting that gratitude practice was one of

Michael Ian Cedar (21:12.263)
No.

Michael Ian Cedar (21:32.952)
Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (21:37.973)
biggest keys that got me out of bed and starting to move again. And six years later I still have an alarm on my phone that goes off every night and I actually I started to go to bed earlier so I set my alarm for gratitude earlier and I every night I say out loud three things I'm grateful for. And sometimes on a bad day I'm grateful the day's over. But it counts. I'm grateful. But I can and it's so easy at this point so it's been six years of practicing it

Michael Ian Cedar (22:00.972)
Sure. Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (22:07.657)
It is so easy to be able to make perspective shifts to be able to see the positive like one of my friends calls me like the reframer because she's like, my gosh, she's like, I'll be so upset about something and then I just tell you about it and you see it through a completely different lens and gratitude was the biggest key, I think, and helping me get there and really shifting and then I've just continued to build on that. But that gratitude practice has stayed in place. Michael, that is 100 % thanks to you.

Michael Ian Cedar (22:29.048)
Boom.

Michael Ian Cedar (22:37.038)
I am so grateful that you're sharing that with me. That's lighting me on the inside. I didn't know that. That's really tough.

Katie Wrigley (22:44.775)
Yeah, it's been big. It's been big. And you also you have another program called Life on Your Terms or LOIT. And this is also something else that I did. And this was early into 2021 when I was on the cusp of leaving corporate. And again, your program really helped me get some of the pieces that I needed that helped me move. that combined with Cognitive Movement is how I was able to leave corporate about

Michael Ian Cedar (22:52.577)
Michael Ian Cedar (23:04.29)
No.

Katie Wrigley (23:11.963)
four months after I was in Lloyd. So can you tell us about life on your terms and what that looks like now?

Michael Ian Cedar (23:16.268)
Yeah, it's actually related to the gratitude slam. So the gratitude slam is free. then we have a group coaching program called Life on Your Terms. I do that because I wanted it like a gratitude slam grew so big. I used to respond to everyone and like coach them through the gratitude slam, even though they didn't hire me as their coach, I would just give them coaching prompts and

And it just grew. It grew so big that I couldn't do that anymore. And now we even do have a moderator in there who's helping guide people who may have never had any kind of coaching before in their life. But the life on your terms is all about exactly what it sounds like, living a life on your terms, where a lot of people come into my world and they're like, that's too selfish for me. And I'm like, tell me more. Why is that so selfish?

And they're like, well, I'm here to serve. I'm here to serve my life's purpose. I'm here to serve a higher source, whatever it is. And I go, well, what makes life on your terms so selfish? Well, it's all about me. So life on your terms, there's four core themes that show up. And the first one is this one. I can control the inner critic.

right? Because if the inner critic is controlling you, then you are the affect of that itty -bitty crappy committee that's up there in the mind always telling you, hey, you're not good enough, hey, work harder, hey, work later, hey, ignore the pain, hey, you know, and we blow up our lives. So one, can I control the inner critic? Doesn't mean get rid of it, just means can I control it. Two is, can I love the inner child? Meaning,

I accept that I have wounds from younger years or traumas that have happened in my life, right? The body keeps score like the book is called. Like, can I love the fact that I accept this is a super complicated thing and it needs some form of guidance or leadership from me as an adult figure, right? And I'm not speaking the woo -hoo, there's an inner child in there and I'm not taking away if you do believe that, but right, we do as biological creatures.

Katie Wrigley (25:16.785)
Yep.

Michael Ian Cedar (25:36.354)
hold on to stuff from our younger years and like can I build a relationship with that and appreciate that that's inside of me. The third is can I recognize my potential and act on it, right? then third is can I recognize my needs and act on them? And I'm like you can't give to others what you do not give to yourself, right? And so people are like, so the people that come into my care and the Life on Your Terms program, business professionals,

Katie Wrigley (25:58.545)
Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (26:04.588)
some people who are home it purely homemaker i don't care it's a great equalizer cuz whenever one's in the room whether they're poor whether they're paying literally like there's one person literally just came in there's one person who literally sends me only the cash that they have available which is still less than the entry fees the the the the the cost of entry and i'm just like hey if this is what you need right now fine and literally once a month i get an envelope with a few bucks

Katie Wrigley (26:33.776)
Aw.

Michael Ian Cedar (26:34.07)
and i'm like but i would and i'd even give it them for free but i want an energy for an energy but i was the reason i'm saying this

Michael Ian Cedar (26:43.03)
if you want to serve and whatever that means to everyone here if you can have your basic needs met like going to the like i can't go to the bathroom eating i can't tell you how many people i coach you get urinary tract infections because they don't drink water and they don't go to the bathroom

And they're like, well, there's not enough time. Well, if I'm doing it, then I'm taking care of me and not someone else. I go, and what's the quality of the care you're giving that person when you're a crispy little critter going to the doctor and, you know. Like, it's amazing when people come in, I'm overweight. Well, what are you doing for that? Well, I'm working out. Are you drinking water? No, why not? Because if I drink water, I got to go to the bathroom. Like, this is real crap that people say. And not only do people say it, I am a former workaholic.

Katie Wrigley (27:25.891)
I

Michael Ian Cedar (27:30.104)
twenty four seven seven days a week not not right for seven twenty hours a day seven days a week almost in sixty four days earlier so actually a great compassion for it but now that i'm at this place in my life i'm like i can't believe people are saying this and like all my god i used to the same break in thing as a life on your terms is a program it's an immersive program we meet once a week and then there's a there's things that happen in between that time as well for us to a nurse our minds in the idea

Katie Wrigley (27:44.027)
Mm -hmm.

Michael Ian Cedar (27:58.348)
that by taking care of this vehicle allows me to drive further distances and take care of more people and live a fulfilled life. There's only two goals I have, Katie. One, I want people to feel gooder. Two, I want people to feel fulfilled. That's it. And if there's more people feeling gooder and more people feeling fulfilled, I feel like I've done my

Katie Wrigley (28:14.661)
Yes, yeah.

Katie Wrigley (28:24.283)
I love that. I love that. And you know, I want to, I want to just chime in on a couple of things that you said so that when you look at that inner child work from the quantum realm, there is a lot of science that says like going back in time and doing what they call that inner child work of going back to whatever pain you had at that point in time, asking the little version of you, what did you need? They've started to see that when you get rid of linear time, which is what we all run on here on earth, but when you get into that quantum

where there's only the present and this is the only time that exists is right now. There was no past, there was no future, which I still can't wrap my head around, but I'm trying. But I have absolutely felt the benefits directly of doing that inner child work and going back or parts work is another way that I've heard it referred to. And you help mesh those parts of yourself that got shattered by the traumas and the negative events. So I love that that's part of Lloyd because that's huge. And I mean, there's been times where I've, you know, been in

a meditative state and I'm going back to the little girl that was being severely traumatized at the time and just like what do you need? It's like I need a hug and so just in my mind's eye I'm just holding the little version of myself and but what I feel in my body coming out of that is undeniable so there's a lot of power there just in that one piece that you were talking about let alone the others that are in there too but I wanted to speak directly to that one because that is the one that tends to get the little

Michael Ian Cedar (29:41.837)
is.

Katie Wrigley (29:54.013)
Huh? There's a lot to it.

Michael Ian Cedar (29:55.5)
Well, and I'll even I'd like to even simplify it a little bit more because it's something that I practice myself. Like when something gets triggered inside of me for whatever reason, I've grown accustomed. It's like the most direct route. It's like what are they called? Overpasses or or connect? I forget what they're called on highways. I'm a New Yorker. I don't drive. Right. So right. But there's like ways to get to certain highways faster by going over these special roads. So my my my

My bypass, bypass, that's what it's called. My bypass is, huh, what childhood wound is not healed that's coming up right now? And I go, I'm being rejected, and I didn't like rejection back. And it's like, boom, there it is. And I think it's the easiest way to explain it to people. It's just like, because there's an answer to it. What childhood wound is, what unhealed childhood wound is coming up that I'm feeling this? And it always comes back to like, I,

Katie Wrigley (30:26.011)
There you go.

Michael Ian Cedar (30:52.138)
I don't like being disliked because if I'm disliked then I didn't have the book smarts to get through so I, my only thing was and I always find an answer. I always find an answer. And there's one story I want to share and it's, I'm not saying it to impress upon the weight of the person but there was someone I was recently coaching and I was told by an agent, third party agency like

We want to match you with this coachee, but they're very high profile and they're in an industry you've not worked in, but we think you're right for them because it was in sports, which I have no background in. And this was a person that's in the news on a regular base. And it was an executive. It was an executive. wasn't a player. And I almost said no. I was like, don't. And I looked him up and I was like, I don't think that's my guy.

Like I'm not, that's not what I'm into. And something in me was like, hey, just take the call. Take the call. See if the chemistry works. I get on the call, and the guy's a hot mess. Total hot mess. And I'm coaching, and he's just so.

Wounded, so hurt. So he just goes, I'm talking to him about what it's like to do coaching as an executive. And I go, and he just goes, look, can you just get me to a place that I feel neutral? I don't even care about happiness right now. Just get, like, can you stop this from

Katie Wrigley (32:11.629)
Mm.

Katie Wrigley (32:36.551)
Hmm.

Michael Ian Cedar (32:37.134)
And I'm like, I can't believe I almost said no to this, right? I'm like, I got to trust that when I get matched like that, there's a reason for it to happen. And I said, look, I can't stop that, but you can. And if you, I know that I have the tools that can get you to neutral. Are you willing to do what it takes to get there? And he goes, I will do anything. I just want to get to neutral. Now this is a guy who

Katie Wrigley (32:41.591)
huh.

Katie Wrigley (32:45.297)
Thank you.

Michael Ian Cedar (33:06.986)
on paper, in the new, everything is perfect, right? But the inside isn't clean. And so we worked together for about a year and about three months in. I said, me three months. But by two months, he goes, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. And so I think he's a great avatar since, you know, we all have.

Katie Wrigley (33:12.955)
Right?

Michael Ian Cedar (33:35.278)
It's perspective. You said it before. We have to change our perspective, change your focus, change your life, change the way you think, change the way you feel. And I think people, even in the worst situations in their life, we have the ability to feel gooder or neutral, right? And from neutral, he went to great, he found a new love in his life. So we have the ability to live a life on our terms. And it's hard to believe that when we're not in the present

Katie Wrigley (33:37.125)
Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (33:57.115)
Wonderful.

Katie Wrigley (34:03.601)
Yep.

Michael Ian Cedar (34:03.896)
We're living in the past, we're living in the

Katie Wrigley (34:06.447)
Yep, yes, yes, I love that. That's a great note to start to wrap. Where can people find you, Michael?

Michael Ian Cedar (34:14.008)
gratitude slam on Facebook. Just Google gratitude slam or go on Facebook and find gratitude slam and for the Life on Your Terms Academy just life on your terms .com but you can find that through the gratitude slam as well and anyone can direct message me. I'm you know people criticize a lot of people in our industry criticize me that I'm too accessible and I'm like okay if that's if that's your best shot at me is that I want to help people.

Katie Wrigley (34:42.832)
That's funny. That's funny. That's great criticism to be getting like, you're too accessible. Like, okay.

Michael Ian Cedar (34:50.328)
I like what? Okay, I know. Yeah, so.

Katie Wrigley (34:55.099)
That's one of the things I've always appreciated about you is because you are so approachable. Like there, may be other coaches out there that I don't feel nearly as comfortable because there's like almost like this. It's like a come here, but not too close kind of thing. Whereas you're like, hi.

Michael Ian Cedar (35:08.822)
you know, you Yeah, come on in. You know what, let me just share this in case anyone ever wants coaching from you from me from any coach. like I just care whenever people meet with you. I'm like, I just want to make sure you get the care that you need right now, whether I'm that person or not, you know, so I've even referred people to you, right? You know, so because I'm like, I know I went ballet with that Katie. So I always say, my gosh, what was I saying? Picking a coach or picking a coach?

Katie Wrigley (35:36.709)
about that.

Michael Ian Cedar (35:38.51)
So here's this is me. So years back when I was training to be a coach, I wanted a coach to train me be a coach. And I found was referred to someone that I trusted by someone I trusted. And this person's coach six month coaching was 18000 bucks at the time. That was everything I basically got. And I was ready to spend it. And so we have the chemistry session. I meet with this coach and she's like, you know, I don't want to give too

too early like she's like i don't want to give away the store right now like and i was so turned off by that i was like the information should be like totally free and accessible to anyone you know your time and exclusivity of that time i agree i should pay for that for you to put together what's right for me and so i did not hire that person and i was right literally was ready i knew how much he cost

When she said, was withholding information because I had not paid her yet, I was like, that's not the coach for me. And I always think any coach should be given the info. Any coach, this is my belief, there's going to be people who hate me for this. But I think any coach, if they're not willing to give the information away for free, then they're in it for the wrong reasons. My time is the exclusivity, which by the way now, I'm pleased to say I charge way more than $18 ,000. So that's what you

Katie Wrigley (36:43.803)
Yep.

Katie Wrigley (37:04.732)
And you're worth it too.

Michael Ian Cedar (37:05.88)
We're willing to charge. But anyways, you know, since there's people coming here to look for solutions and healing, I think that's a great sign. If you want someone to help heal, then those people should be willing to heal for no money if their time that they're paying for, the exclusivity, the access.

Katie Wrigley (37:21.435)
Yep, yeah, and I've actually taken a...

a clue from you and I have my own book, my group, it's much smaller than yours, it's not quite 300 members, but I do a live every week. It is free, it is there to help people and then I have my YouTube channel that has a bunch of little mini Cognomovement sessions so for people who can't afford to work with me one on one, they can still benefit. And one of my clients actually, she could only afford to do one session with me and she had actually wound up, somehow there was a glitch in the system but she had overpaid and I offered

to give her back the difference, because I said I don't feel right taking this and I told you this on the call and it doesn't feel like it's in alignment with my integrity not to. And she was like, would you actually just make me a few more little mini videos instead? I was like, absolutely. And so I made ones that were a little bit longer for her and she, today she was like, my gosh, I feel so much more grounded. I feel like I'm getting so much more clear. These were so helpful. Thank you so much. I'm like, this is awesome. Like I need to keep a roof

my head but that's one of the things I've always loved about Tony Robbins too is that everything Tony Robbins is out there for free you have to pay for the experience and if you want to be up close with them you're gonna really pay for his VIP and he's earned that right and everything Tony Robbins is out there in a low dollar or zero dollar format if you cannot afford to go to a Tony Robbins event and I loved that and I when I saw like other coaches like you that I respected Michael my that's how I want to do my business and it's

Michael Ian Cedar (38:34.146)
Ryan.

Yeah, yeah. Right.

Katie Wrigley (38:55.143)
because you've got a lot of coaches like you can't things away for free it's like yeah

Michael Ian Cedar (39:00.844)
I just don't know another way. don't know. I truly can say I don't know another way. I just don't.

Katie Wrigley (39:05.967)
Yeah, yeah. just, mean, it's... You shouldn't have to have a lot of money to benefit and get yourself well.

Michael Ian Cedar (39:15.872)
Yeah, I agree. call it sin. People who withhold, I call it sin. Well, I don't call it. I've heard it somewhere else. Sin of omission, right? Sin of omission. When you know something that can heal someone and you don't share it, that's sin of

Katie Wrigley (39:21.425)
Yeah.

Katie Wrigley (39:30.331)
Yeah, yeah, and there is a, I'm not gonna mention them because I don't want to disparage anybody that's negative, but there's someone who's huge out there that has a massive following, but you can't get any of this stuff for free. And I do not look at any of his work, no matter how much it could benefit me, because that is such a, it it repels me to a point where like, anytime his name is brought up, I'm like, thanks, but no.

Michael Ian Cedar (39:36.034)
No reason.

Michael Ian Cedar (39:52.974)
Yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (39:56.532)
and and i'm not and that person whoever they are and they're not that people they just don't share the values that i have a good for them to probably make more than me

Katie Wrigley (40:00.679)
No, they're not.

Katie Wrigley (40:05.329)
They have a different value system and more power to them, but that's not in alignment with me. It's not in alignment with you, and that's OK.

Michael Ian Cedar (40:10.466)
Right. Look, here we are doing this and this is free. Proof of the pudding, my friends, proof of the pudding.

Katie Wrigley (40:13.349)
Right, exactly. yeah, and I have a podcast. I love the irony of that. Like, my gosh, I'm like sitting here talking about freebies and why we're in a freebie.

Michael Ian Cedar (40:20.009)
And you have a podcast. That's right.

Katie Wrigley (40:31.155)
Too funny, too funny. Thank you so much for your time today, Michael. I'm gonna make sure all the links are in here so that you guys can go grab the gratitude slam. You can check out life on your terms and it's fantastic. You will not regret it. Reach out to Michael and get to know him a little better as well. Like he said, he is accessible and that is one of the things, one of the many things about him that you'll absolutely love. But his live videos that he does, they're so engaged. So many people are in those videos that are watching live at the time.

it's really cool. actually want to make an effort to start to watch this a little bit more. Is it still 7 a on Tuesday mornings?

Michael Ian Cedar (41:06.766)
No, so life on my terms, I now do 9 .01 AM. I was like, why am I killing myself for this? I was like, wait a second. This is my program. Why am I killing myself for this? And we actually have more people that show up at the later time.

Katie Wrigley (41:24.711)
Well, that explains why I never catch them live is I'm usually in bar class with my mom on Tuesdays at 9 So that's why so but thank you so much for the work you're doing. Thank you for being you Thank you for the referrals you've given me Thank you for your time on this podcast and everything that you're doing I have immense gratitude for you and the people who created you Michael

Michael Ian Cedar (41:30.03)
That's the reason why, yeah.

Michael Ian Cedar (41:45.486)
So my friend, thank you. I'm so grateful for you.

Katie Wrigley (41:48.667)
Thank you and I just would love to add what is one action item that you would want someone who's listening today who has that angst you talked about in that executive what's one action you would want them to take today to get that angst starting to break?

Michael Ian Cedar (42:00.761)
Yeah, I would say, what's the result you really want? Like, answer that question and maybe answer it 10 different times. What's the result you really want? You know, one of the biggest lessons I learned from working with a company that's a data analytics company, and so, you know, it's really fun as a coach. I learn more from the person I'm coaching than the person learns from me. It's just unfair, but that's just way it works. I'm sure you feel, I imagine you feel the same. Like, I just, I do.

Katie Wrigley (42:06.449)
Good.

Michael Ian Cedar (42:28.628)
And so one of my coaches, learned like, one of the things I was taught is that in the data analytic world, one of the biggest failures is people are trying to solve the wrong problem. Like those two women I was talking about earlier, they're trying to solve something that's the wrong problem. What they really need to do is, well, where is my role in this? And so what's the real result you want right now? Because if it's you want to feel better, your boss can't help you with that. And a new job is not going to help you with it either. If you want to have more money,

Katie Wrigley (42:48.549)
Yeah. Right.

Michael Ian Cedar (42:58.446)
Is it that you want real money? I don't think money is the issue. Do you want to clear up some debt? OK, that's different than more money. And so what's the real result you want? And to ask yourself that, journal it, maybe ask yourself it once a day for seven days or 10 times a day for seven days. Because clarity is power if you put action. Clarity is potential power. Clarity is power if you put action behind it. So get the clarity, take the

Katie Wrigley (43:24.796)
Very very solid advice get the clarity take the action and go deep on What whatever you come up with your for with your answer like he said keep going into it What does that thing give you and until you get down deep and have that You haven't gotten there yet

Michael Ian Cedar (43:41.952)
Yeah, you'll know when you get there. You'll know. You know, it's really awesome. It's a moment of clarity.

Katie Wrigley (43:43.535)
Yo, yeah, you will. Yeah, yeah.

It is, it is. It's a really fun process too. So I love that that is how we are ending. So thank you again, Michael, for your time today. Thank you audience for your time as well and for listening. I know you have a lot of choices of what to listen to out there on the internet today and I appreciate your time and attention as always. Until next time, be well, take care, and I will see you soon.